Embracing The Flow

I’m at a point in my life where I want change like a itch on my body that just isn’t being cured with a gentle scratch.

Right now I am employed which is truly a blessing. A year and a half ago I was at home crying, frustrated, angry because no one would give my resume a single glance and if I did go to a interview the look on my interviewers face as soon as I saw them said…”No, I’m not interested”.

Before my current job I was finally hired at call center that hires just about anyone for little pay but wants you to follow a million rules. I would have stayed at that company if my current job hadn’t fallen into my lap. Since working at my current job I’ve received 3 promotions and that’s coming from a girl with a incomplete college education. Never say never.

I feel like there is so much I want to tackle at once. I have credit cards that need paying off, bills to pay, a car that is waiting for me to own it, a license that is waiting for me to have my name on it, a body that wants to feel lighter/healthier, a mind that wants more stimulation and a heart that wants to be nurtured.

I want all of this yet it seems to get further and further away day by day sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking about I just don’t go for it.

So you might be asking yourself, “What have you been doing this whole time then, if not trying to reach your goals? How are you getting to work without a license?” To your second question, I’m driven to and from work. Yes, the driver desperately wants me to get a license and my own car. To your first question, simply put, I’ve just been going through the motions of life. I go to work, I spend half my time reading kindle romance novels on my tablet and playing games online. If I have bills to pay like rg&e, rent, cellphone, paying the driver, credit cards then I pay it and the rest of my money…well…it goes down the drain.

If I’m being honest here. I have a spending problem. I don’t know how to save money at all and if I do save money I end up spending it…..all of it. It’s always spent on purchases that I need “at the time” or on my credit cards, I’ll pay them off then I’ll spend it again. No one ever taught me how to save money or the importance of having money growing up. So I always thought it was okay to just work and spend. But now I’m realizing if I want to do something with my future. I’m going to have to save frequently. I’m just learning that the only way that I don’t spend it is if I forget about the money I do set aside.

There’s so much on my mind but so little actually going on in my daily life but it starts now that I’m going to change this. It can’t go on like this anymore. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t cross the finish line, like I leave everything incomplete. First I’m going to start with my current…dilemma and biggest stressor.


  1. Capital one – $300
  2. Fingerhut – $449
  3. NFCU – $3000
  4. HSN – $688
  5. RG&E – $50 (This month)
  6. Rent – $350 (This month)
  7. Driver – $160 (This month) or $40/30 a week
  8. Phone – $45 (This month)
  9. Netflix – $8.99 (This month)
  10. TKH – $14.99 (This month)
  11. Credit sesame – $19.99 (This month)

Looking at that list right now there are 3 items I can stop paying for by the end of this month which is Netflix, TKH and Credit sesame. If I put my mind to it I could have all of the bills that aren’t monthly paid off in 3 or 4 months. Each week I’ll make it a goal to set aside $25.

3/13 – 3/19 – Phone $45, Driver $40, HSN $62.48/$99.99, Fingerhut $29.99, Capital One $25

(draft) 3/20 – 3/26 – NFCU – $100, Driver $40, RG&E $50

(draft) 3/28 – 4/2 – Rent $350

Those are my plans for this month so far. 3/13-3/19 is final. The other two are just a body draft for me until I plan again next Saturday.

As for saving I already set that up. I have 3 different bank accounts. I’m starting with small sums of money until I have these bills under control. $10 to one account every week, $20 to another every other week and $25 to another every week.

Once I have Finger Hut, Hsn and Capital one paid off. I’m going to focus on my drivers license and car because by then I’ll have enough money saved up for both..hopefully.

As far as my body, eating healthy and stimulating my mind, that will have to be another post. My biggest stressor was honestly the bills. So now that I have a plan for that I can focus on the fun stuff later on today.


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